thus far, 2011 has been one of interesting discoveries....let's just say that it has been nothing that i thought it would be and probably is the point....i feel God is truly shaping and refining our family (me) in this season of my life,not all the details are clear just yet, but there is that saying...."in God's perfect timing" which yes, i know is very true!
ok, let's just start off with the fact that this year Christmas was very different and i mean in the way of spiritually and emotionally....not in the decor, food, gifts, family, etc...you get the point....but why it was so different is what has been very hard for me. God has been really moving my family in a direction that at some point is going to be very uncomfortable to a lot of our friends and even perhaps family....we, as in hubby and I, have felt God moving us toward something different than what/where we currently are in at this point in our life....i won't share just yet, but let's just say, it will require some life adjustments....
i also, am struggling with the direction to go career wise since i will be finishing and graduating school in August....(it was July, but due to some changes in the program, it has been pushed out a month....i am not very happy about this either, but i can do nothing to change it) I felt God leading me into a specific career choice when i went back to school, hence the reason i went back in the first place, b...your enemy the devil prowls arounf like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour...ut am not feeling that so much now...
there has been a lot of emotional stuff going on with friends and family too.....several deaths of dear friends and or their loved ones (some i will see in heaven one day, others i am just not sure about which breaks my heart), friends getting news they weren't expecting and learning how to cope and deal, and lots of family issues going on not only for friends, but my family too....it's CRAZY! Actually, no it's called the DEVIL! He is all about doing anything and everything he can to just feel so ick and guilty over our pasts, our present, or whatever he can to make us doubt God and His love for us!
...your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. resist him, standing firm in the faith, b/c you know what your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings....1 peter 5:8b-9
All i can say is I really am ready for 2011 to be over already....yes, i know that sounds bad probably, but it is how my heart and brain feel at the moment....to me it feels like 2011 is going in hyperspeed compared to last year...perhaps that's just me, but all the same, i want it to SSSSLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWW down or for me to wake up and it be 2012. yes, i know that i am weird, crazy, insane...these are things i hear all the time, so it really doesn't offend me....lol......maybe it would do me some good to sit in a padded room for just one weekend and hang out....that would slow my life down, right?!?
So, now that i have depressed you with my first post of 2011, i will apologize for unloading on you! I do have something that i am going to try and commit to doing and that is making a sorta resolution for the year...i do not make resolutions b/c i know that i will make the same ones i made the year before and by the time superbowl weekend rolls around, i break every last one of them! I am going to make an honest effort at getting my house organized this year....(if you hear laughing and can't figure out where it's coming from, it's my hubby laughing hysterically at this thought)....see i used to be very OCD about organization and planning, but about 3 years ago the company i worked for was supposed to merge with another company, but at the eleventh hour it didn't happen....long story short, our owner closed our company and filed bankruptcy leaving almost 100 employees without jobs or even so much as a goodbye....i was crushed needless to say since i loved what i did and had been there for 7 years....anyway, i started working somewhere else where i really didn't need to be as organized or OCD about planning and guess what, my house went to pot....so, i am really gonna try to get back into the frame of mind of organization and planning again, but hopefully without the OCD part this time...(yeah right says the little voice in my head)....
so, i will leave you with this lovely quote from a movie i recently watched that gave me a lot of perspective about little of me and my life....
"ruin is the road to transformation"
so out of the ruins i will come, a transformed and new creation! | |
| view of valley of a thousand hills in south africa....one of my fav places! |
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